Defenders (2005) #3: "The End Of The World As We Know It!"

Speaking of Dormammu...

There was a Defenders sale a couple of weeks back on Comixology and since I'm unwilling to spend more than $1 for issues in this limited (in every sense of the word) series, I took the opportunity to move ahead a bit. Having just reviewed a book featuring Dormammu's villainy (Defenders volume 1, #2) made it seem like a good time to do so.

We open with Dormammu preparing to remake the entire universe in his image, as heavily implied on the cover. 

Dr. Strange and Namor are unaffected by this because they are trapped in Dormammu's domain.

Namor hasn't had water for a while and Strange uses this facts to his advantage. He suggests to their dull-witted guards that if Namor dies on their watch, Dormammu's going to be some kind of pissed and probably quite unkind.

So they agree to give him a little water. But as we know...

They teleport out and see that Dormammu has put his plan in motion as they materialize in goth heaven.

Strange is at least relieved that when Dormammu made this world, he didn't create evil versions of them. Assuming that Dormammu is unaware of their escape, he decides that they should go undercover.

Of course, he's wrong on both counts. Dormammu knows of their appearance in his realm and has made (literally) a new friend.

So presumably there's an alternative version of Namor as well? I guess that gives us a little something to look forward to.

If this all seems a little light on content it's because about a third of the book is dedicated to the Hulk being used to satisfy Dormammu's sister, Umar, sexually and the Silver Surfer attending a clam bake on some beach full of (skin-toned) surfer dude types.

I may hate this book as a Namor fan but if you're a Silver Surfer fan who bought it, I feel for ya.

Marvel Feature (1971) #2: Nightmare on Bald Mountain!

Several Defenders books have been reviewed here over the past year, but none from the original series since late 2018.

Today we'll go one better. We're going to look at the second issue of Marvel Feature, the book in which the team starred (for only three issues, mind you) before getting its own.

Out in Vermont, on the night before Halloween, a cult is attempting to summon the dread Dormammu to our world. Dormammu struggles to express gratitude.

The one who must be sacrificed is...Doctor Strange! Dormammu needs the body of a powerful sorcerer to inhabit and there are only so many of those to go around.

Over at his crib, the cult members trick the good doctor into flying off in his astral form, leaving his physical body behind to be abducted.

Strange's man-servant Wong is beaten up by those hooded goofs. He had been on the phone when the abduction took place. When he was no longer holding up his end of the conversation, the lady he was on the phone with, named Clea and who refers to herself as "a girl from another dimension whose powers have all but faded" came to find him unconscious. She revives him and they use the Eye of Agamotto to track down the other members of the Defenders and ask for help including, of course, the avenging son.

Through a boat load of filler, the foursome finally meet up in New York. Then since Clea was able to track Strange's astral form to Vermont, they take a bus out there. No Avengers quinjet for this bunch.

Once at the green mountain state, they are drawn to an eerie glow in the sky at...Bald Mountain!! As they advance towards it, they are assaulted by a bunch of cult members who are, of course, no match for Namor.

All along, Strange's astral form was riding Wong. As his physical body is about to be possessed by Dormammu, Strange hops back into it and takes the fight to his long-time enemy.

The battle between magical titans ultimately prevents Dormammu from entering our world so the battle is essentially won. A great explosion ensued, which devastated the mountain and served to illustrate how little faith Strange has in his colleagues.

So...I guess that's that. Not a bad one-and-done but not anything particularly memorable, either.

Fantastic Four (1998) #32: "Abyss"

Three members of the Fantastic Four enjoyed the spotlight in recent posts, so let's give the fourth (and my personal favourite) her equal time.

This was written by Chris Claremont so prepare for words. Lots and lots of words.

It seems that Susan Richards was sailing on her own when a giant wave capsized her boat.

Why was she alone? Because her husband's a neglectful asshole who never learns from making that mistake. The Fantastic Four, assisted by the Coast Guard and Navy, find her damaged boat and become increasingly worried when they are unable to find Sue herself.

Sue, however, discovers that she is able to breathe underwater due to a magical necklace given to her by Namor in an earlier issue which apparently I'll need to dig up now.

She's not entirely out of the woo...huh...waves, though. She still has to swim to the surface.

Namor shows up as she reaches the point of exhaustion from trying to do so. Their reunion is quite brief because they are under attack almost immediately.

She refers to their attackers as "Atlans". Using her force field to fend them off, the two attempt an escape during which Susan brings Namor up to speed.

So many words...I complain about more currents books being filled with little more than "meaningful" poses or telling glances between characters but there is such a thing as going too far the other way. If you think I'm being overly critical, that is only about a third of the dialogue on this page.

At least I haven't read the earlier issues so it's all new info.

Susan is not done giving Namor the scoop though.

Evidently, this Dorma caused the wave that wrecked Susan.

He got plenty of warning, yet when Namor lays eyes on Alternate Dorma, he still flips out and is taken from the battle quickly. Sue hangs in there a while but is eventually apprehended. Namor shakes off the initial shock and saves the day just as the rest of the FF pop in to provide an assist.

Susan talks Namor out of slaying this version of Dorma. She doesn't want him to become a cold killer like she is.

Eh. Try talking to Stingray about that nowadays.

Namor has no further interaction with the FF other than wishing Susan all the best, so he bails. Reed Richards takes a moment to tell Susan how his heart sank when he thought he'd lost her and so on and so forth. No doubt I'll be reading that speech again soon.

Pretty decent stuff overall. Some of pages in which the FF are looking for Sue felt like filler. That extra page or two could maybe have been put to better use in her own part of the story but that doesn't ruin anything. This was another enjoyable interaction between Marvel's Cosmic Family and its Avenging Son.

Fantastic Four (1961) #412: "Settling The Score With The Sub-Mariner!"

The last issue I read featured a scrap between Namor and the Thing and the Human Torch from the Fantastic Four. Not to leave anyone out, today we're going to check out a throw down between Namor and the other male member of the Four, Reed Richards, Mr. Fantastic.

There was a period of time after Atlantis Rising in which Namor stuck around the Fantastic Four. Reed Richards wasn't around so maybe Namor was biding his time for Susan Richards' affections. We'll find that out later when we read earlier issues from this series.

In any event, as we join this story, Reed has recently returned to the team, all bearded up. We are told that the FF were in a scrap involving Black Bolt of the Inhumans during which Susan stretched her powers to their limits, causing her to collapse from exhaustion.

She needs her rest, but Namor sees an opening...

The rest of that sentence is rather unkind. Reed overhears it, as well as Namor's suggestion to Sue that she kick Reed's stuff to the curb. Oh dear.

Naturally, that goes with Reed over like a fart in an elevator.

And so they fight it out once more. Neither man gets too nasty a shot in though. Namor tosses a car, Reed lets it bounce off his malleable form back towards Namor, Namor dodges it, etc. If anything, Namor does more damage verbally than physically.

The prince ain't wrong, y'all.

Richards directs the battle towards a construction site. He's needed back at the Baxter Building though. This Skrull chick named Lyja who's been shacking up with the FF of late helps Susan hop into one of the team's little hover crafts, or whatever the hell they are, to find him. And they do.

Namor will have none of it! If he must, he'll take Susan by force!

Well...He'd take her AWAY by force. There are limits to his impulsiveness. He's not Ben Roethlisberger.

Time for Reed to be the big hero.

Awww...I haven't followed this team regularly but I could swear I've read a number of variations of that speech over the years.

As the Richards leave, Lyja asks Namor if he's through playing possum. That's right, the avenging son was faking his defeat!

You're no Jennister Aniston yourself, Skrully.

Namor leaves it up for interpretation as to whether he took a dive to bring the Richards couple closer together or whether the purpose of his subterfuge was to impress Susan with the purity of his love. Wow. His words, not mine.

With that, he leaves, "destined to return when the Fantastic Four least expect it".

So some eye-rolling dialogue and the story (by Tom DeFalco) was basically high school drama but the Richards/Namor dynamic rarely fails to entertain. The art was by Paul Ryan, John Lowe, Bob Wiacek and john Kalisz.

Strange Tales #125: "The Sub-Mariner Must Be Stopped!"

I've come across another book in which Namor is only involved in one of the stories so keeping to an earlier theme, I'll knock that one off now too.

While Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Girl are out, The Thing and the Human Torch are screwing around in the Baxter building. They are visited by a pair or reporters but are insulted to find out that the reporters are there to interview the other two members of the team. Hilarity ensues as The Thing and Torch kick the two newsmen to the curb.

All this seems pointless but it actually matters later.

That done, Namor appears on a nearby emergency monitor. His past attempt at invading the surface world is recapped as thet wo members of the Fantastic Four head out to greet him. They assume he's leading an Atlantean army even though there is not the slightest cause to conclude this.

They find him easily enough.

And yet you have used artificial vehicles in your own books! We've seen you ride turtle-skis before, too!

Based on the speed at which Torch and Thing are approaching him, Namor believes he's being attacked, which is actually fairly rational. He sinks the the FF members' vehicle so immediately gets the upper hand in the battle.

As for the Torch...

If I was ever tasked with writing Namor's adventures, I would make a list all the powers that he's used less than a handful of times in his early days and make damn sure to work them into my stories.

This clash of titans draws some media attention so when Reed and Sue Richards arrive home, they immediately find out about it.

I KNOW, woman! Now do as you're told!

They head out to join the battle.

Shut UP, Sue! A man can't think with your useless prattling! Just sit there, be pretty, and plan out my next sandwich!
 
The various times that Susan Storm has considered leaving Reed Richards are becoming more understandable as I read more of this team's early adventures.

When Namor sees the two remaining members of FF arrive, he swims off, stating that he has been lied to. Reed Richards explains Namor's behaviour to his dull-witted teammates.

But instead, you were being a couple of tools.

This little tale is hardly a classic but it was good for a giggle and it reinforced the lack of trust between Namor and the Fantastic Four at the time, a bit. Not bad for 13 pages.

Tales To Astonish #73: "By Force of Arms!"

In the mid-60s, the throne of Atlantis was taken from Namor in the Tales To Astonish series. Today, we're moving forward in his quest to reclaim it.

In order to prove his worth, Namor needed to secure Neptune's trident through a series of seemingly impossible tasks (think Hercules' 12 labours, but underwater). At the point we're at, he's being overcome by the Diamonds of Doom! Then some dude with a weirdly-bending arm pops up.

Namor gets rid of said dude by summoning electric eels to attack him and once they've subdued him, they lay out the next step in the quest.

The eels also remind him that Dorma is a prisoner of the Faceless Ones after being banished in the previous issue. Oh yeah! It seems like an odd thing to forget but then, Dorma's always getting into some kind of jam so come a point, it's about as routine as a morning coffee.

So rescue her...Chase the trident...What's a prince of the blood to do?

He chooses to take a stab at saving his lady love.

The attempt to save Dorma (again) takes place in the next issue. Again, Namor shared these books so the installments are only about a dozen pages long.

While all this was going on, the people of Atlantis rebelled against Krang's rule. They stormed the castle, overcame his guards and as they were on the verge of reaching him, Krang was about to turn a dial on a large computer. We'll find out the results of turning that dial next issue!

Agents of Atlas (2009) #6: "Secrets of the Deep"

Namora's appearance in Secret Empire: Brave New World a couple of posts ago put me in a mood to track her down. This leads up to read some Agents of Atlas, a team I've long been curious about.

See that Dark Reign stamp over the logo? That's important.

It's a little confusing to jump in six issues into the series but evidently this group has a problem with Norman Osborn. They figure the best way to reach him is through one of his "cabal", namely everyone's favourite avenging son, Namor. Namora brings everyone up to speed.

I'm sorry...He did the what-what now? Isn't that like saying "Sure, he blew up New York, but there are plenty of cities in the States"? I guess I'll come across that story at some point, but Namora seems cool with it.

Tagging Attuma for this cameo.

So they track down Namor...

They are greeted at the door nearly from the moment they arrive.

Namor sets up a nice banquet for his visitors but of course, things go south. Namor wants Namora to stick around Oceanus, the Agents don't want to lose her, but the feces hit the propellers when Namor realizes that one of the Agents is reading his mind. How rude!

Well, no shit! This entire scene reveals that Namora is quite sore about Namor never recovering her body when he thought she was dead. She is quite grateful to that Lost In Space robot Agent for being instrumental in reviving her.

Can't blame her for that.

To break up the fight, Agent member Venus sings her siren song which has the following effect.

Oof. I don't give a shit if I found out my sister was adopted, I can't get past the "title".

Two days later, Namor takes the team on a sightseeing tour of the Plato Trench. A kiss from a cousin will mellow you out that way!

Everything is chill right now but the next issue is entitled "The Depths of Desire". In light of that unexpected cousin-kiss above, I'll have to brace myself for that one, but at least it won't come out of nowhere.

Good book, especially since most of Namor's appearance in this millennium appear to be mostly shite. I'm glad that Namor shows up in the next issue as well. It probably won't be long until that one is added to the stack.

Dark X-Men: The Beginning #1: "Namor / Norman"

This is the other "short story" I wanted to get out of the way before the new year.

There are numerous examples of a team book's first issue being dedicated to the group's formation. X-Men Red and Fear Itself: The Deep are two examples of such included on this blog.

It appears that this series is intent stretching out that procedure over three issues. Thankfully, Namor goes first.

Norman Osborn has put together this Dark X-Men team to keep mutants in check should Emma Frost fail to do so as per an earlier agreement between two. While Namor is in the shower, Osborn roams around long-windedly (got to pad that page count!) asking why Namor would ever join a man like Osborn who has had Atlanteans executed.

That's a hell of a good question. It is answered by Osborn with a bunch of psycho-babble bullshit.

Yeah, okay Dr. Phil. Osborn ultimately seems to manage to get Namor to cooperate while making Namor think that he (Namor) is deciding when he really isn't. Whatever.

And that's about it. The rest of the book is about two other members of the team. Namor is not involved.

I don't know the state of Atlantis at this point, or Namor's relationship with the underwater city, but Namor has been detested by Atlanteans a number of times in his history. He's always gone back to it and has worked to rebuild it and/or reclaim its throne numerous times.

So this notion that he wants to distance himself from it and embrace being a mutant is a little hard to accept. And unless he's been fed a line about what this team's mission is, I don't even really get how he'd perceive this gig as accomplishing that goal anyway.

It doesn't seem as though Namor spent an awful lot of time with this group. I hope he went on a couple of missions, realized the whole thing is a load, kicked Osborn in the dick, then left.